Ratscallion: I'm not a killer I just want things to die
It is field burning season in Zambia which means that I live within a scorched landscape. And also that the children are digging for field rats to eat.
About a month ago a rat got caught in my squito net but I could not take advantage of the confusion and desperation to kill it. Poor little things was just trying to live.
My aunt sent a KC Star with an article about a Buddhist monastery with a horrible biting ant infestation. Sanctity of life vs. quality of life. One monk tried to vacuum up the aunts before releasing them outside the monastery.
This week I killed 6 rodents of decreasing size, employing the use of a mouse trap. One night I emptied the trap of rodents 3 times. The first rat (I am not sure how long in tooth or tail a rodent need be to deserve the title of rat, but I feel fairly confident in the description) died with a peanut in his mouth and a look of shock upon his face. I felt a bit bad for it.
But then there were still more rats running around. Rats that stole the bait from the trap thrice without dying. Rats that when blocked out of their hole squeak loudly and run about making lots of sleep disrupting noise. There was also a moment on this night when I stood over a cornered mouse with a sharp stick at the ready for several seconds before poking half heartedly in its general direction. No killer instinct to speak of.
Night 3 the strategy progressed. Blocked off the corner where the burrow was and set the trap just inside. On this night a rat was trapped but declined to die, instead thrashed about, squeaking and carrying on. I realized while laying in bed waiting for the end to come that I had not ever killed anything larger than a bug with my own force, and the reluctance had something to do with feeling it a small tragedy that anything need die while frightened. And thought about how feeling bad about things we do is a reflection of some dissonance, but perhaps also a way to avoid full responsibility for that dissonance. So I got up to help the rat die instead of let it continue to suffer in fear. Jabbed it with a stick. I felt a bit sad.
The next morning the little neighbor girl came by with a bag full of field rats. 24 field rats. Every Zambian child can kill a rat.
The rest of the mice were good enough to die in the trap immediately.
Soon I will get a cat to do my dirty work for me. He will enjoy it more than I.
I might name him Garbanzo.
Zambians don't eat the mice in the house, just the one's in the field.
_____________________________________
This week while riding on a back road with my counterpart we came to a cross road and went right. I asked where the road going straight went to and he responded: "ah that one, it goes somewhere other than where we are going." Indeed.
I bought a 1989 American quarter from a street vendor selling various coins. He first asked 10,000K for it ($2.50). I paid 1,000 (aprox. $0.25) I think this is really funny. My friend pointed out that the exchange rate has changed and I actually lost money. Haha.
We just had a session on snakes. The dead snake I passed on the road was a puff adder. I also have seen a hooded black snake in my yard - a cobra. Capable of spitting venom. The Peace Corps advice on snakes: avoid being bitten.
______________________________________
Community entry is over: What have I learned?
Being effective is hard thing to be.
Knowing where to start is a hard thing to know.
2 years seems a short time to get things done.
Directing someone to discover something for themselves is much more difficult than teaching and preaching. I don't know exactly how to do it but I think might have something to do with asking the right questions in the right series, and questioning ideas with enough force to challenge but without enough force to alienate.
Creative thinking helps a lot of things.
I need to learn how to work within the existing Zambian system/culture to push it forward on its own trajectory.
Every decision is a mixed bag. I tell myself that decisions are neither good nor bad - but simply carry consequences. Knowing the full scope of those consequences is hard. And often you have to make decisions before you know what your doing.
I will write about the work I am doing next time. Right now I am all talk. Hoping I am not always all talk.
About a month ago a rat got caught in my squito net but I could not take advantage of the confusion and desperation to kill it. Poor little things was just trying to live.
My aunt sent a KC Star with an article about a Buddhist monastery with a horrible biting ant infestation. Sanctity of life vs. quality of life. One monk tried to vacuum up the aunts before releasing them outside the monastery.
This week I killed 6 rodents of decreasing size, employing the use of a mouse trap. One night I emptied the trap of rodents 3 times. The first rat (I am not sure how long in tooth or tail a rodent need be to deserve the title of rat, but I feel fairly confident in the description) died with a peanut in his mouth and a look of shock upon his face. I felt a bit bad for it.
But then there were still more rats running around. Rats that stole the bait from the trap thrice without dying. Rats that when blocked out of their hole squeak loudly and run about making lots of sleep disrupting noise. There was also a moment on this night when I stood over a cornered mouse with a sharp stick at the ready for several seconds before poking half heartedly in its general direction. No killer instinct to speak of.
Night 3 the strategy progressed. Blocked off the corner where the burrow was and set the trap just inside. On this night a rat was trapped but declined to die, instead thrashed about, squeaking and carrying on. I realized while laying in bed waiting for the end to come that I had not ever killed anything larger than a bug with my own force, and the reluctance had something to do with feeling it a small tragedy that anything need die while frightened. And thought about how feeling bad about things we do is a reflection of some dissonance, but perhaps also a way to avoid full responsibility for that dissonance. So I got up to help the rat die instead of let it continue to suffer in fear. Jabbed it with a stick. I felt a bit sad.
The next morning the little neighbor girl came by with a bag full of field rats. 24 field rats. Every Zambian child can kill a rat.
The rest of the mice were good enough to die in the trap immediately.
Soon I will get a cat to do my dirty work for me. He will enjoy it more than I.
I might name him Garbanzo.
Zambians don't eat the mice in the house, just the one's in the field.
_____________________________________
This week while riding on a back road with my counterpart we came to a cross road and went right. I asked where the road going straight went to and he responded: "ah that one, it goes somewhere other than where we are going." Indeed.
I bought a 1989 American quarter from a street vendor selling various coins. He first asked 10,000K for it ($2.50). I paid 1,000 (aprox. $0.25) I think this is really funny. My friend pointed out that the exchange rate has changed and I actually lost money. Haha.
We just had a session on snakes. The dead snake I passed on the road was a puff adder. I also have seen a hooded black snake in my yard - a cobra. Capable of spitting venom. The Peace Corps advice on snakes: avoid being bitten.
______________________________________
Community entry is over: What have I learned?
Being effective is hard thing to be.
Knowing where to start is a hard thing to know.
2 years seems a short time to get things done.
Directing someone to discover something for themselves is much more difficult than teaching and preaching. I don't know exactly how to do it but I think might have something to do with asking the right questions in the right series, and questioning ideas with enough force to challenge but without enough force to alienate.
Creative thinking helps a lot of things.
I need to learn how to work within the existing Zambian system/culture to push it forward on its own trajectory.
Every decision is a mixed bag. I tell myself that decisions are neither good nor bad - but simply carry consequences. Knowing the full scope of those consequences is hard. And often you have to make decisions before you know what your doing.
I will write about the work I am doing next time. Right now I am all talk. Hoping I am not always all talk.
posted by Keli at 2:33 AM
<< Home