Nothing becomes great without discipline and intention.
Today I realized at 7:20am that my flight from Chicago to Kansas City did not actually leave at 10:10am but at 8:40am. Getting to Midway from Logan Square on the Chicago public transportation system in that span of time is an impossibility. I arrived at my gate 10 minutes before take off, with my shoes still untied, my belt in my hand and my hair pulled back but with significant chunks sticking out. This disheveled, panting person is not the image of a competent adult. Lucky and fast - but not together. I am trying to discern how worried I should be about this.
My friend's mother is a pediatrician and she once said that adolescence is not determined by age but by one's ability to financially support herself, create healthy relationships and love maturely. Perhaps manage one's own life logistics effectively should be added to that list. There are several sociologists and journalists who write about a trend towards extended periods of adolescence for my generation. A combined result of the four year college, delayed age of entering the work force, delayed marriage, delayed point at which you become responsible for another human being, etc. I am in full support of this delay period. Obviously. It let's you make sure you know who you are - so you can make decisions which will honor your true desires. Important business. Focusing and evolving those desires - figuring out how to create a functional life around them is the work of adulthood.
Part of my hope for the Peace Corps was that a capable adult that resembles me would pop out the other end. I certainly felt more capable at the end of my service - but capable in ways that are still being translated to this new life. I moved to Chicago for many reasons but an important one among them is my search for the details of my adult life. Post Peace Corps. In an American context. On my own terms.
What principles do I feel are true and worth sticking to? What decisions and priorities do I need to set in order to stand by those principles? What kind of food am I going to buy at the grocery store? How am I going to spend my free time? Where am I going to spend my money? What am I going to emotionally invest in? What is worth being a stickler about and worth going out of my way for? It seems that to live responsibly and fully all these details need some exploration and deliberate attention. A break from the willy-nillyness of youth.
It is possible that I need only to accept that, in adolescence and adulthood, I am the type of person who occasionally mixes up important details like arrival and departure times. Or the type of person who spends 15 minutes comparing conditioners at the store just to go home with two bottles of shampoo. If you have stars in your eyes perhaps you are blinded to the logistical minutiae of the earth. Perhaps this is but a comforting stronghold so I never have to change.
I want to be a fully capable adult who still has stars in her eyes.
My friend's mother is a pediatrician and she once said that adolescence is not determined by age but by one's ability to financially support herself, create healthy relationships and love maturely. Perhaps manage one's own life logistics effectively should be added to that list. There are several sociologists and journalists who write about a trend towards extended periods of adolescence for my generation. A combined result of the four year college, delayed age of entering the work force, delayed marriage, delayed point at which you become responsible for another human being, etc. I am in full support of this delay period. Obviously. It let's you make sure you know who you are - so you can make decisions which will honor your true desires. Important business. Focusing and evolving those desires - figuring out how to create a functional life around them is the work of adulthood.
Part of my hope for the Peace Corps was that a capable adult that resembles me would pop out the other end. I certainly felt more capable at the end of my service - but capable in ways that are still being translated to this new life. I moved to Chicago for many reasons but an important one among them is my search for the details of my adult life. Post Peace Corps. In an American context. On my own terms.
What principles do I feel are true and worth sticking to? What decisions and priorities do I need to set in order to stand by those principles? What kind of food am I going to buy at the grocery store? How am I going to spend my free time? Where am I going to spend my money? What am I going to emotionally invest in? What is worth being a stickler about and worth going out of my way for? It seems that to live responsibly and fully all these details need some exploration and deliberate attention. A break from the willy-nillyness of youth.
It is possible that I need only to accept that, in adolescence and adulthood, I am the type of person who occasionally mixes up important details like arrival and departure times. Or the type of person who spends 15 minutes comparing conditioners at the store just to go home with two bottles of shampoo. If you have stars in your eyes perhaps you are blinded to the logistical minutiae of the earth. Perhaps this is but a comforting stronghold so I never have to change.
I want to be a fully capable adult who still has stars in her eyes.
posted by Keli at 6:29 PM
